Jack And The Y2K

Well I loved hacker Jack and with him I should be
O me young coders tell him COBOL is dead
We were soon to retire my Jackie and me
O, tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That his language is dead now and always will be

But they found that they needed a hacker one day
O me young coders tell him COBOL is dead
To fix legacy COBOL in the year 2K
O, tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That his language is dead now and always will be

The work was attractive and paid a good fee
O me young coders tell him COBOL is dead
But with all of that code he had no time for me
O, tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That his language is dead now and always will be

Then the work and the worry it soon took its toll
O me young coders tell him COBOL is dead
So Jackie resolved to escape from it all
O, tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That his language is dead now and always will be

It was June '99 and just six months to go
His health and his sanity were getting low
Then came an idea to erase his deep frown
"I'll get myself froze until things settle down"

So he went to the corpsicle shop right away
Said "I want to be frozen a year and a day
I'll sleep until all the debugging is done
For I've had it with COBOL, it's no longer fun"

He signed all the papers and paid all the bills
His investments would grow while he took the big chill
They put him to sleep, just as easy as that
And at his request they included his cat

Then in no time at all it seems he awoke
Surrounded by happy and excited folk
"So this is the year 20 hundred", he said
But the look on their face filled his poor heart with dread

Then appeared the Prime Minister for to explain
"Almost 8000 years now deep frozen you've lain
All due to a fault in the freezer's control
Which, as if you can't guess, was programmed in COBOL"

"But welcome now Jack, to a world without war.
Where everyone's healthy, and no-one is poor.
Where technology's blossomed to such a degree
That it can be said that mankind's truly free."

"That sounds quite terrific", said Jack, "It's right grand.
But there's one little thing that I don't understand.
I'm lucky to be here, that much I can see,
But why are you people so pleased to see me?"

The Prime Minister smiled - "Let me put it this way...
The dread year ten thousand is just months away,
And it pains me to ask you, I feel such a fool,
But by any stray chance, can you program COBOL?"

Hacker Jack was an old man in the 1990's
O me young coders tell him COBOL's not dead
He was due to retire in a year or three
O, tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That his language is living and always will be
Tell him young coders, go and tell him for me
That he's going to code COBOL for eternity