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Original song |
Gunga Din (a poem, not a song, but I've imitated the poem's meter) |
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Original artist |
Rudyard Kipling |
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Filk author |
Sally Vandershaf |
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Intro |
Originally written a few years ago when my department had to switch from our beloved Macs to Windows 3.1 !!!! Which for some reason meant we had to deal with DOS. Probably because Windows 3.1 was itself a parody of an operating system. This poem was my protest, which was widely praised but did not bring back our Macs. Now our dept uses Windows 95. I should write another poem about that!!!! |
The Balad of Dumb of S***
In this universe insane
There are things that cause you pain
Many things that make you feel your mind is lost.
But of all these horrid things,
There is one that reigns as King,
A pestilential invention known as "DOS."
For it's DOS DOS DOS
All who enter at the prompt are promptly lost.
No one knows who did invent it
But millions now regret it
You're the bane of our existence, evil DOS.
As you type in your commands
With a Ouija board at hand
Imperfect punctuation will give you a fit.
With a temper like a lash,
You think, "Do I use a backslash,
Or a frontslash? Or a colon? Oh, I quit!"
For it's DOS DOS DOS
It's a lot like being nailed to a cross.
No one knows who did invent it
But millions now regret it
You're the bane of our existence, nasty DOS.
Then a tiny light broke through
From a Window tinged with Blue
And the masses saw deliverance at hand!
But the prospects seemed to dim
As their hard drives filled to the brim
Because they couldn't find the goldurn garbage can!
For it's DOS DOS DOS
Why not just used barbed wired as floss?
No one knows who did invent it
But millions now regret it
You're the bane of our existence, horrid DOS.
Now you can go back to work
Grumbling, "This poet is a jerk,
Reading this poem is an awful waste of time."
You may not like such poems
About obscure computer programs,
But this proves you don't need DOS to write a rhyme.
For it's DOS DOS DOS
Worse than having Hitler as a boss.
Though it's slower than molasses
And inspires DOS geeks' sasses
I'd rather use my Mac than dumb old DOS.
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