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Original song 9 to 5
Original artist Dolly Parton (?)
Filk author Sharon Neeman

Windows '95

(to the tune of "9 To 5")

Roll out of bed, switch on your PCs,
Catch yourselves a faceful of feces -
The nightmares finally come alive!
It locks up files, hangs applications,
Hits new heights in bug generation -
Dont you know its WINDOWS 95!

WINDOWS 95: its the Microsoft invention!
WINDOWS 95: brings you traumas, tears and tension!
Watch it seize your drive! Its so sickeningly clever;
Its enough to drive you round the bend forever...

F**ks your fax, mangles your modem;
Watch those links - its sure to explode em!
It may sound crazy, but its true...
Reconfig from dawn until dinner;
Boy, Bill Gates sure picked him a winner -
Better than a demolition crew!

WINDOWS 95: self-destructs when you install it!
WINDOWS 95: I know lots of names to call it!
It may look alive, but its all hot air and vapor;
Its enough to drive you back to pen and paper...

No one to blame, no one to cut up;
Nothing to do but pay up and shut up
While all those MS ManiacS thrive...
Thats why from city to state, nation to nation
Millions wail in loud desperation:

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