original artists
filk authors
what's new
about this site
Original song Bohemian Rhapsody
Original artist Queen
Filk author MaJoC
Intro Do a detailed compare-and-contrast of the warranty for your favourite bit of commercial software and the GNU Copyleft. *Then* read this.

Bohemian Warranty

Is this the real thing?
Or just cheap fantasy?
Caught in a RAMslide
No escape back to sanity
Strange as it seems
To someone who dreams in C ....
I'm just a user (Poor boy)
I get no sympathy,
My money's easy come, easy go
Guarantee? just say No ---
This is not X-Windows ---
Should that really matter to me? --- to me.

Mama, just killed an app
Print a page is all I tried
And it GPFfed and died
Three hours, to install the wretch
And now it's gone and blown itself away ....
Mama, ooo ---
It's enough to make you cry
I need that printout by this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, hope it doesn't really matter ....

Too late, the system's seized
Mouse and keyboard up the chute
No resort but hard reboot
Seance for to summon Deep Shit Monitor
Whose logs delight in lying with the truth ....
Mama, ooo (This is not X-Windows) ---
I suspect that I
Have once more seen good money thrown after bad ....

I see a little cloven shadow of a hoof
Low address, low address, something did a Fandango
Criminally crafty
Very thorough shafting me ---
Bug or feature? bug or feature?
Bug or feature? bug or feature?
Is it new or is it known? --- telephone ---

But I'm just a user, nobody loves me ---
He will be Poor if he Does phone the Family,
Don't tell him yet that Support isn't free ---

Is it ill, is it well, can you really tell? ---
We're Help Desk --- Argh! third-party DLL (Go to Hell)
We're Help Desk --- replace that DLL (Go to Hell)
We're Help Desk --- upgrade this DLL (Go to Hell)

Try this DLL (Go to Hell)
Buy that DLL (Go to Hell)
Pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay ---
Make him read it, make him read it, make him read the guarantee:
This product's backed by a building full of lawyers free
to wee
on thee ---

So you think you can soak me and spit in my eye?
So you think I'd stay loyal when hung out to dry?
Self-defeating, on your customers cheating ---
Need only walk out, I'm gonna walk right out of here ---

I get better programs, anyone can see
Vastly better programs, fully working programs, for free ....

This is not X-Windows .... (*boom*)

0-9 / A / B / C / D / E / F / G / H / I / J / K / L / M / N / O / P / Q / R / S / T / U / V / W / X / Y / Z