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Original song Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
Original artist Unknown (Christmas)
Filk author Walter B. Rhodes

Crashware Toasting All Your Open Apps

Crashware toasting all your open apps,
Windows trashing all your files,
Microsoft techs dumping loads in your laps,
And Intel's adding to the piles.

Everybody knows a turkey for a CPU,
Can't help but make their BYTEMarks BITE,
Pentium IIIs, running hot are a-glow,
Old CISC designs can't halt the heat outright.

Bill Gates knows Sa-tan's on his way,
He's loaded lots of drives with bugs for Y2K,
And e'vry mother's child is gonna pray,
That their 3-d games will load and play.

And so I'm sorry for the many homes,
With DOS to Windows 98.

We've all heard it said many times, many ways,

Soon after Christmas,
If Windows is your O-S,

You're S-C-R-E-W-E-D !!

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