OS California

In a dark deserted office

Alone and open-plan

Strong smells of black coffee

Percolating through my fan

Took a look at my user

He would give a zombie fright

Though his eyes grew heavy and his head grew dim

Still he had to hack through the night

There she sat on her CD

A nymph beside her well

I wondered if it mattered

If I were Compaq or if I were Dell

Then she fondled my chipset

And pulled my plug-and-play

As she reconfigured my Ether card

I heard my speaker say

Welcome to the OS California

What a change of pace
What an interface

Plenty of apps for the OS California

Pay without a fear
They will all be here

Her kernel's so Tiffany twisted

I get the Mercedes bends

When she runs lots of pretty pretty apps

From all her friends

How they dance in my low core

Oh how I sweat

Desp'rate to remember

Desp'rate to forget

So my man phoned his Mac friend

Who laughed at him down the line

And said, That interface was two years old

In nineteen eighty-nine

Still those adverts assault me

From far away

E-mail-bombed in the middle of the night

Just to have me say

Welcome to the OS California

What a change of pace
What an interface

Here's a new patch for the OS California

What a nice surprise
It's an ali-buy

A hall of memory mirrors

Pretend protected mode

She said, We are all prisoners here

Of two decades' code

And in the master journals

They gathered for the feast

They stab it with their stern reviews

But they still can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember

There were discs all over the floor

He was hacking for his life to get me

As I was before

Hard luck, said my BIOS

We are programmed to deceive

You can reboot as hard as you like

But you can never leave