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Original song |
I am the very model of a modern major-general |
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Original artist |
Gilbert and Sullivan |
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Filk author |
Brad Needham |
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Intro |
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The Modern Software Manager
(to the tune of a similarly titled song from
Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance)
by Brad Needham
Manager:
I am the very model of a modern software manager
I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
I purchased a computer that had megabytes of filing space
And only six months later heard complaints of its compiling pace
About this act I haven't even moments of remorsefulness
I have the utmost confidence in engineers' resourcefulness
Though scheduling of time has been equated with a lottery
Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie.
All:
Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie
Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderie
Adverse conditions bring about a spirit of comraderaderie!
Manager:
I cannot understand why my employees are infirminal
I simply ask that ten of them share typing at one terminal
I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
I am the very model of a modern software manager.
All:
He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can endure
He is the very model of a modern software manager.
Manager:
When I discovered heavy use of text processing led to ills
Providing my subordinates excuses to slip schedules
I fully analyzed the situation and I lost no time
Administrating installation of this pretty paradigm:
Immediate response must be considered just a luxury
All word processing programs will be run each day from dusk to three
I cannot buy computers with the money for our creditors
So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing editors.
All:
So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing editors
So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing editors
So, engineers, prepare yourselves for batch-processing editeditors!
Manager:
The influx of employees has amounted to an avalanche
So I am asking everyone to get along with half a bench
I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
I am the very model of a modern software manager.
All:
He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can endure
He is the very model of a modern software manager.
Manager:
In fact, when I have learned that "software tools" are not mechanical
"Computer operations" not an exercise tyrannical
That "data flow" cannot be used to measure conductivity
And "software automation" is the key to productivity
When I'm aware my ignorance from Dijkstra back to Babbage shows
My software education is no more than any cabbage knows
I'll be a software manager that during loud contention hears
The knowledge and experience proceeding from my engineers.
All:
The knowledge and experience proceeding from his engineers
The knowledge and experience proceeding from his engineers
The knowledge and experience proceeding from his enginengineers!
Manager:
But until then these budget slashes some consider jealousy
In actuality belie my unrestricted zealousy
I'm trimming back my budget to a point nobody can endure
I am the very model of a modern software manager.
All:
He's trimming back his budget to a point nobody can endure
He is the very model of a modern software manager.
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