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Original song Stairway To Heaven
Original artist Led Zeppelin
Filk author Mark Lottor

Gateway To Net Ten

Mark Lottor
[Original words and music by Jimmy Page and Robert Plant]

There's a hacker who's sure all that's coax is fast
and he's buying a gateway to net ten.
When he gets it he'll know if the ports are all closed
with a SYN he can get what he sent for.

Ooh ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
and he's buying a gateway to net ten.

There's an RFC on the wall but he wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a note on the page there's a warning that says
sometimes all of our code is broken.

Don't ya know, it makes me wonder.

There's an error I get when I send to the net
and my packets are lost and retransmitting.
In my logs I have seen loops of mail thru the machine,
and the screams of those who are hacking.

Oooh, it makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all fix and tune
then the packets will reach their destinations.
And a new day will dawn for hosts that stay long
and the telnets will echo quite faster.

Ohhhhh, it makes me wonder.

If there's a bustle in your cisco, don't be alarmed now
it's just a quick ping for the NIC machine.
Yes there are two paths you can route by, but in the long haul
there's still time to change the protocol.

Yowwww, it makes me wonder.

Your host is loaded and it will slow in case you don't know,
the unix's are asking you to join them.
Dear hacker, do you see the overflow, and did you know
your gateway is still under development.

And as we wind out more coax, and gateways slower than our hosts,
There goes a message we all know, it updates routes and wants to show
how everything still turns quite slow.
And if you listen very hard, the bits will come to you at last.
When all are ones and ones are all, to be a rubout and not a null.

And he's buying a gateway to net ten...

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