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Original song Ironic
Original artist Alanis Morissette
Filk author Jeffrey K. Bray
Intro This was inspired by about a year of bad network decisions, poor IT management, and long-coming decisions which came too late. Surrounding all of this was our inability to keep a simple dedicated line up. In short everything was going wrong, and it was doing it all at once, and the harder we tried, the more it kept happening.


An old LAN, learned in '88
Put on Windows NT .. got fried the next day
It's a MAC guy, in charge of your CRAY
It's an avoided core-dump, two cycles too late

And is it fiber-optic?
Can you link?

It's a downed frame, on your very first day
It's a call to find(1), when you've got a full RAID
It's the root account, that you just didn't make
And who would have thought; it fingers!

Brilliant sys-admin, had the load real high
Typed in lowercase, and kissed the SPIDs goodbye
It took him his whole damn life, to make that site
The main-frame crashed down, he thought, "Well, I shoulda used nice(1)"

And is it fiber-optic?
Can't you link?


The load has a funny way
Of peakin' up on ya when you think HTTPd's ok
And you got a stable site

And nice(1) has a funny way
Of helpin' ya out when ya think all the pings are too long
Then every ping times out in your trace

Some broken RAM, in a fully foamed crate
A slow-poking line, as your Internet fate
It's the password for root, when all you need is a life
It's like building the LAN of my dreams, and not seeing a single link-light...

And is it fiber-optic?
Can't we link?
It's only fiber-optic!
Don't need a super heat-sink!


The load has a funny way, of peakin' up on you...
nice(1) has a funny way, of helping you out ...
Helping you out..

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