The Devil Went Down to Crawford

The Devil went down to Crawford 'cause he was lookin' for an IMP to steal.
So he searched the hall for a protocol, and he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across a chairman writin' an exam and writin' it rough
Then the Devil jumped up on an ADDS 200 and said, "Boy, you think you know your stuff."

"I'll bet you didn't know it, but I'm a full professor too,
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
You've designed some pretty good networks, boy, but give the devil his due:
I'll bet a window of gold against your soul I can transmit better than you!"

The man said, "My name is Chuckie, and it might be a sin
But I'll draw your net, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best there's ever been."

Chuckie sharpen up your pencil and define your routing scheme
'Cause hell's broke loose in Crawford and the devil's feelin' mean.
Now if you win you'll get this sender's window made of gold,
But if you lose the devil gets your soul.

The Devil drew a topology with style and perfect poise,
And frames flew into buffers as he calculated noise.
As his datagrams arrived with ease, he cooly stopped and stared --
Well, his Petri net was mighty fine, but Chuckie wasn't scared.

(insert messy petri net here for instrumental)

When the Devil finished, Chuckie said, "Well, your subnet's fast, I agree.
But just sit right there and let me show you N.mPc!"

Chorus:
Packets on the network, run bits run
Acks on the line until transmission's done
Try to make your channel error-free;
Check your message out with a CRC.

The Devil saw that baud rate and he knew that he'd been beat,
And he laid that golden window on the ground at Chuckie's feet.
Chuckie said, "That's worth a C, so you might want to try again,
'Cause I told you before, you undergrad, don't design with a ball-point pen!"

(Chorus)