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Original song |
Justified Ancients of Moo Moo |
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Original artist |
KLF |
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Filk author |
Jonathan Dursi |
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Intro |
This came out of the depths of despair while I was modifying A *really* old, *really* big (IMHO) FORTRAN program, that is CPU intensive and *seriously* inefficient. It just sort of appeared in my editor while I was working on the thing. And it produced fewer compilation errors than the rest of it... My sincerest of apologies to the KLF. - Jonathan Dursi |
CAMM (Crustified Ancient of Main Memory)
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
Hey!
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
(cruftified!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
It's cruftified, and it's ancient,
and it loves to use up RAM.
(from 1K to the top!)
It's cruftified, and it's ancient,
and it's code I don't understand.
(and it's big, and it's BIG, and it's *BIG* now!)
He pulled me out of class, you see,
He said, "Dursi, _you_ know FORTRAN!
I doubt that you'll like what you're *going* to do,
But you'd better start now, because we need it soon!"
(Bring my 'C' back!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
(cruftified!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
It's cruftified, and it's ancient,
and it eats CPU, that CAMM...
(at least a GigaFLOP!)
It's cruftified, and it's ancient,
"But sir, I had other plans..."
(That's too bad, that's too bad, that's too bad now!)
The last compile started half hour ago,
And the users are starting to mob!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN,
Then someone started screaming, turn off that job!
(give the keyboard back!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
(cruftified!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
(Cruftified and ancient,
Ancient and it's cruftified,
Will not compile though I've tried and tried,
With the errors in the go-tos,
Common Blocks and Do-loops
In the hundred thousand lines of the CAMM.
I'd really like to take a nap,
'Cuz I know what time it is,
But I think it will compile if I change this line...
Oops, well, guess not, looks like I'll be
Fishing through the listings all night.
Fishing through the listings all night!
Hey!
Fishing through the listings all night!
Hey!
Fishing through the listings,
Fishing through the listings,
Fishing through the listings all night!
Hey!
VAX Pascal!
Starting to look pretty good.
VAX FORTRAN?
Bring my 'C' Back!)
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
Hey, Hey!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
old FORTRAN!
Over a Meg of old FORTRAN!
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